A couple of months ago, I had the pleasure of volunteering for a classical piano recital put on by doctors around the area. My piano teacher asked me to help, and so I went, not expecting to enjoy myself... They had free pizza for the volunteers, and after finishing a few odd jobs, I took a seat. Facing me were 5 other teenagers, ranging in height, age and gender. They were conversing quite loudly, and I couldn't help but listen to what they were saying. They all looked like ordinary teenagers, extremely self-conscious, etc. except for one sitting at the far end of the table. He was definitely what the world would call "a geek." A pair of glasses sat atop a very sharp nose. His eyes hid behind a pair of very bushy eyebrows... you get the picture.
He was a straight A student, as we quickly found out. Another guy, a very proud, arrogant junior, began to ask him all these questions, about his school work, extra credit work... All those questions posed in a kind way, but meant to secretly make fun. Anyways, I am sad to say that I hid the fact that I am *almost* a straight A student and that I almost always do extra credit...
It's interesting how we can hide ourselves from strangers, not telling lies about ourselves but hiding our true identities. We allow people to make their own assumptions about us without telling them whether they are right or not. Looking back at that night, I reminded myself of the Pharisees and religious leaders of Jesus' time. In one word, it reminded me of hypocrisy.
Anyways, later on that night, once we were done having our pizza and preparing for the performance, I was given a choice of which door I would like to stand by. Since we were ushers, we would be moving about quite a bit and personally it didn't matter to me. So I picked a door, walked through the doorway quickly and smiled weakly. I had gotten the door with "Mr. Geek." He smiled as well, pushed the glasses up onto his nose once more and said quietly, "I noticed the book in your bag as you walked by. You like Shakespeare?" I shrugged, not sure what to say, trying to inch my way to my starting position, waiting for someone to free me from the conversation. After I had walked several feet, I heard him sigh. "I don't really expect anyone to come through this door," he said quietly to the wall. I stopped, shook my head at my stupidity and walked back down the stairs.
I looked at him in the eyes and said, "Look. No matter how much they tease you and pick on you, ignore them. I know I didn't say anything earlier, but I just want you to know that I was very impressed at how well you took what those guys were saying. It takes a really strong person to hold his tongue like you did." He looked at me strangely. I think I shocked him a little.. okay, a lot. But I was doing what Jesus would have done at that moment...
He looked at me and smiled, saying... "So, DO you like Shakespeare?"
I find it interesting that throughout our lives, we are placed with simple tests of our faith... Whether it consists of sharing the gospel or just being different, they always pop up at the strangest moments. When I went to volunteer that night, I didn't know I would have an impact on anyone. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I have no idea why God placed "Mr. Geek" in my path, but He did. I'll never know the real reason, but I hope that I planted a seed.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Following his footsteps...
My church's senior pastor has done some ministry in England for several years and while there, he "be-friended" a very well off family. One afternoon this particular family invited him to dinner. When he arrived, the host took him around, showing them the house. In a particular hallway, my pastor observed the host's Oxford graduation picture. Walking up to it, he observed the host standing there, but looking to the right, my pastor observed a very familiar looking man. Pointing, my pastor exclaimed, "That's C.S. Lewis!" The host nodded and said seething, "Yeah.... I hated that guy." Extremely surprised, my pastor asked why. The host's response should inspire us all. "He was always in my face. After he became a Christian, he was always calling me, telling me I needed to be saved. He wouldn't leave me alone."
It makes me chuckle to think that one of the greatest writers of all time, and my personal hero, would come across as pushy, rude, etc. But it also convicts me that he did not care what others thought about him, that he was so open to share his faith. As I look at my own life, I dim in compare to this "great" man. What did he do that I didn't (or don't)? I can answer that quickly without question. He lived his faith joyfully, completely, in every aspect of his life.
Romans 15:13 states, "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Lewis had what most would call a passion, or nowadays, an obsession. He felt a joy and purpose in Christ that most have never felt. He was eager to share the feeling with others, perhaps even being "pushy or assertive" to impress others with his ultimate passion. It reminds me of a scene in the movie Elf, when Buddy the elf gets his first kiss. He dances into his father's office and shouts, without noticing who's in the room, "I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!"
How often do you feel such joy in Christ that you dance and say, "I have Christ! I am free! And I don't care who knows it!" We'd be called freaks, wouldn't we? We'd be laughed at, teased, ridiculed... Take a look at 2nd Samuel 6: 14-16.
"David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets. As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart."
How would you feel if you saw a 40 year old man dancing around in his undergarments? I bet you would snort, chuckle a little. . . Michal even despised him for it. But honestly, how full do you think David's heart was at the moment when they brought back the ark? Overflowing. How full do you think Lewis' heart was when he spoke about Christ with his friends? Overflowing.
Tying things together, it was about the joy and completeness David and Lewis found in Christ. That's what I lack. There have been highs and lows in my relationship with God. I feel on fire for Him during youth conferences and a desire to tell the world, but the feeling quickly fades away after struggling through personall bible study. Christ tells us to deny ourselves... This starts by finding a supreme passion, acomplete obsession in Christ, and secondly, tell the world. For me, this starts today. I need to step out. I want to be like Lewis and shout, "I know Christ! I love Christ! And I don't care who knows it!"
It makes me chuckle to think that one of the greatest writers of all time, and my personal hero, would come across as pushy, rude, etc. But it also convicts me that he did not care what others thought about him, that he was so open to share his faith. As I look at my own life, I dim in compare to this "great" man. What did he do that I didn't (or don't)? I can answer that quickly without question. He lived his faith joyfully, completely, in every aspect of his life.
Romans 15:13 states, "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Lewis had what most would call a passion, or nowadays, an obsession. He felt a joy and purpose in Christ that most have never felt. He was eager to share the feeling with others, perhaps even being "pushy or assertive" to impress others with his ultimate passion. It reminds me of a scene in the movie Elf, when Buddy the elf gets his first kiss. He dances into his father's office and shouts, without noticing who's in the room, "I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!"
How often do you feel such joy in Christ that you dance and say, "I have Christ! I am free! And I don't care who knows it!" We'd be called freaks, wouldn't we? We'd be laughed at, teased, ridiculed... Take a look at 2nd Samuel 6: 14-16.
"David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets. As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart."
How would you feel if you saw a 40 year old man dancing around in his undergarments? I bet you would snort, chuckle a little. . . Michal even despised him for it. But honestly, how full do you think David's heart was at the moment when they brought back the ark? Overflowing. How full do you think Lewis' heart was when he spoke about Christ with his friends? Overflowing.
Tying things together, it was about the joy and completeness David and Lewis found in Christ. That's what I lack. There have been highs and lows in my relationship with God. I feel on fire for Him during youth conferences and a desire to tell the world, but the feeling quickly fades away after struggling through personall bible study. Christ tells us to deny ourselves... This starts by finding a supreme passion, acomplete obsession in Christ, and secondly, tell the world. For me, this starts today. I need to step out. I want to be like Lewis and shout, "I know Christ! I love Christ! And I don't care who knows it!"
Friday, April 18, 2008
Truly Broken
Browsing through my iPod last night, I came upon a collection of songs that talked about brokenness. Just being curious, I went on amazon.com to search for CD albums with the word, broken, in the title. What I found was 2,323 of them... just albums, mind you. Typing in songs with broken in the title, I found over 13,078. I was quite amused.
Books, you find nearly 476,300 with broken in the title, telling you all there is to know about heartbreak, repairing your “inner self,” how to get over a lost pet... you get the gist. Here’s a couple of my favorites...
· The Broken American Male: And How to Fix Him
· It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy
· Buffalo for the Broken Heart: Restoring Life to a Black Hills Ranch
· The list goes on and on and on...
It seems that Americans know all about fixing things “broken” whether a
relationship or a toilet. There’s always a solution! There are thousands of books about getting over your latest crush, etc., etc., etc.
But what about a broken spirit? A TRULY broken spirit... What IS brokenness? Do we even know? Looking around on Amazon at books about brokenness- true spiritual, Christian brokenness- only got me a couple thousand or so. Granted, you’re saying... a couple thousand is still a lot, and I agree. But contrast this to the half million of all the other types of broken. It took me a while to soak it in. We, as America as a whole, don’t really know what brokenness is. We don’t want to admit that we’re all broken. To admit that we’re broken is to admit that we’re feeble and helpless, which breaks down the masks we put up, which breaks down the hypocrisy.
David cried out to God in Psalms 51: 16-17, saying, “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” It’s what God wants most.
Going back to the Hebrew (which will make me sounds really geeky, but whatever) the word broken is shabar which is the same as to break into pieces, to reduce into splinters, etc. and dakah, meaning to beat out thin, to reduce. The spirit broken all to pieces, and the heart shattered into pieces, stamped and beaten are the sacrifices which God desires from us. We must come to Him humbled and beaten because we are nothing. Take Job, one of the best examples of a broken spirit. His wealth was taken away, his children killed, his whole life collapsed before his eyes... yet he could still say, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Talk about true brokenness.
I wonder if that’s why there are so many books having and fixing broken hearts, etc. Being broken lowers us down to the dirt, makes us see exactly how pitiful we are. We, as inbred with human nature, don’t want to be weak, so we come up with ways to “redeem” ourselves, trying to fix our own brokenness. But it won’t work. No matter how many thousands of books there are about fixing your broken hearts and yearning souls, we can’t do it. We just have to get to the point where we say in everything, even in our brokenness... blessed be the name of the Lord.
Books, you find nearly 476,300 with broken in the title, telling you all there is to know about heartbreak, repairing your “inner self,” how to get over a lost pet... you get the gist. Here’s a couple of my favorites...
· The Broken American Male: And How to Fix Him
· It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy
· Buffalo for the Broken Heart: Restoring Life to a Black Hills Ranch
· The list goes on and on and on...
It seems that Americans know all about fixing things “broken” whether a
relationship or a toilet. There’s always a solution! There are thousands of books about getting over your latest crush, etc., etc., etc.
But what about a broken spirit? A TRULY broken spirit... What IS brokenness? Do we even know? Looking around on Amazon at books about brokenness- true spiritual, Christian brokenness- only got me a couple thousand or so. Granted, you’re saying... a couple thousand is still a lot, and I agree. But contrast this to the half million of all the other types of broken. It took me a while to soak it in. We, as America as a whole, don’t really know what brokenness is. We don’t want to admit that we’re all broken. To admit that we’re broken is to admit that we’re feeble and helpless, which breaks down the masks we put up, which breaks down the hypocrisy.
David cried out to God in Psalms 51: 16-17, saying, “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” It’s what God wants most.
Going back to the Hebrew (which will make me sounds really geeky, but whatever) the word broken is shabar which is the same as to break into pieces, to reduce into splinters, etc. and dakah, meaning to beat out thin, to reduce. The spirit broken all to pieces, and the heart shattered into pieces, stamped and beaten are the sacrifices which God desires from us. We must come to Him humbled and beaten because we are nothing. Take Job, one of the best examples of a broken spirit. His wealth was taken away, his children killed, his whole life collapsed before his eyes... yet he could still say, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Talk about true brokenness.
I wonder if that’s why there are so many books having and fixing broken hearts, etc. Being broken lowers us down to the dirt, makes us see exactly how pitiful we are. We, as inbred with human nature, don’t want to be weak, so we come up with ways to “redeem” ourselves, trying to fix our own brokenness. But it won’t work. No matter how many thousands of books there are about fixing your broken hearts and yearning souls, we can’t do it. We just have to get to the point where we say in everything, even in our brokenness... blessed be the name of the Lord.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
New Beginnings
Due to computer/internet issues, I am once again changing my blog. As the title states, it's time for a new beginning, a clean slate.
As I contemplated a bit about what I would write here, I decided that this is going to be a place for me to express how God is working in my life, through the struggles and difficulties that come daily. All too often I fail to share my faith with others. Too many opportunities have been missed. Instead of spending hours of my life on facebook, I have decided to use the internet to my benefit, and hopefully in some little way, make a difference somehow.
The name of my blog comes from the song Blackbird by the Beatles. Over the past couple weeks whenever I've heard it, I have really connected with this song, because sometimes I feel like blackbird. Ugly compared to most. Gaudy. Different. Awkward and clumsy. Unaccepted... the list could go on forever. We just want to be as beautiful as the cardinals and as graceful as the eagles... but we lead ourselves to believe we're not. Our society has put so many lies into our heads, leading us to believe that we will never be perfect. But we can't accept it. God has made us who we are, and though we may feel like blackbirds, we have to accept that God loves us through our failures and blemishes.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
So many times we screw up, and every time it's like breaking a wing. We have to live with the consequences. There's constant pain and regret for our stupidity. We dream of being able to fly again, but then reality hits in. We can't. We're invalids, separated from our hopes and dreams. Thankfully God comes, taking our brokenness, our blindness, our guilt, our pain, and patches us up.
The road to recovery is long, and we still fall, but we have to keep dreaming. We have to keep learning to fly. Someday we'll be able to soar, but for now we have to wait... wait for our broken wings to heal.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." -Matthew 5:3-5
As I contemplated a bit about what I would write here, I decided that this is going to be a place for me to express how God is working in my life, through the struggles and difficulties that come daily. All too often I fail to share my faith with others. Too many opportunities have been missed. Instead of spending hours of my life on facebook, I have decided to use the internet to my benefit, and hopefully in some little way, make a difference somehow.
The name of my blog comes from the song Blackbird by the Beatles. Over the past couple weeks whenever I've heard it, I have really connected with this song, because sometimes I feel like blackbird. Ugly compared to most. Gaudy. Different. Awkward and clumsy. Unaccepted... the list could go on forever. We just want to be as beautiful as the cardinals and as graceful as the eagles... but we lead ourselves to believe we're not. Our society has put so many lies into our heads, leading us to believe that we will never be perfect. But we can't accept it. God has made us who we are, and though we may feel like blackbirds, we have to accept that God loves us through our failures and blemishes.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
So many times we screw up, and every time it's like breaking a wing. We have to live with the consequences. There's constant pain and regret for our stupidity. We dream of being able to fly again, but then reality hits in. We can't. We're invalids, separated from our hopes and dreams. Thankfully God comes, taking our brokenness, our blindness, our guilt, our pain, and patches us up.
The road to recovery is long, and we still fall, but we have to keep dreaming. We have to keep learning to fly. Someday we'll be able to soar, but for now we have to wait... wait for our broken wings to heal.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." -Matthew 5:3-5
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